Only when my mother told me at the temple that he may not have many more days left did I come to know of the gravity of the situation. I was home for Onam, and had 3 days at my will before I returned to Mangalore. Yes, he had been ill for quite some time, but it was not so bad...
**********************************************************************************
He was only three months old when I first met him. Hardly a foot and a half tall and barely touching my knees if he stood up. As time passed by, we spent a lot of time together, played with each other, teased each other and became the best of friends. He preferred to spend as much time with me as possible, so did I. But my time constraints wouldn't let me be with him all the while. After school hours, I'd rush home to meet him, and he'd be all the more happy to meet me. I remember that joyous naughty look on his face whenever he saw me. He'd start jumping and would run all around me waiting for me to start the police-and-thief game. And I was happy to oblige.
If there was one thing he wasn't happy about, it was taking a shower. I literally had to drag him into it. And he hated being confined to his little room. When let free, he would wander in the courtyard, and slowly sneak into the kitchen, get his share of snacks from mom (and later from me too), and then go back to his usual place - the left corner of our sit-out. If he wanted something, I could tell by looking at his eyes.
Months and years passed by. My studies kept me busy, and unknowingly the time that we spent together began to dwindle. I didn't notice how much this affected him though.My selfish nature! When he wanted my presence, I had a hundred and one reasons to be 'busy' and if I wanted someone to listen to my grievances, I just wanted him to be there. And indeed he was there always. Happy to just be by my side and silently listen to all nonsense I would say...All the while, I failed to realize that my best friend had really matured, and was perfectly suave in his demeanor. My mom will concur with me on this. There is not one instance I can remember when he had to be rebuked to do something. Such was his obedience, such was his love!!
And here I am today, realizing what I'll be missing next time I go home. All these years, I've been used to seeing him before I even see my parents or grandparents. The slightest of sounds from me and he'd wake up and come to me so eagerly...
Groono was 9 1/2 years old when he passed away. I hate to talk of him as a dog - to me, he was my companion, my best friend. How much I loved him, how badly I miss him, only I know. And how much he gave me in return, unconditionally.....I'm speechless.
The first time I was homesick after entering engineering college, it was not because I missed my parents. It was becaue I missed Groono. I don't know if he had any last wish. Maybe he just wanted to be with me. And I couldn't do that...I had to return to my job, leaving Groono in His hands. His time had come. Maybe God intended to show me what true love is. I now know...
A final dose of sedation on the 29th of August, 2007 and Groono breathed his last...
**********************************************************************************
I was inconsolable on the day I found out that the time had come for Groono to say good-bye. My whole family was in tears. All efforts by my parents to convince me about things like a dog's lifespan, or how he'd have to suffer if he were to live longer were in vain...I couldn't bear the thought of not having him...He had always been there. How can he not be from tomorrow?
But such is life...When you start feeling comfortable about something, it just springs at you a surprise that is sure to give you quite a jolt. I'm no philosopher myself. But things like these make me think of the fleeting marvel that is life. Every second that you are alive, you are missing a very important moment to let your loved ones know that you care for them. Maybe it doesn't matter to them whether you do or do not. But when you think back, you'll know they knew about your feelings.
I miss you Groono...
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
A weekend in Mangalore
Oh my God.....Federer loses to Canas again!! Losing once was bad enough, for it was me who had to endure what the Indian cricket team in currently going through!! No no, don't mistake me...I will still stand by him, even if he were to win not one more Grand Slam in his entire career. Luckily, Justine Henin progresses to the final, awaiting her old foe, Serena Williams.
Though I can't seem to imagine waking up before 7 am these days, today - a Sunday(!!), I woke up at 6:40 am (!!) and almost mechanically, walked up to the TV, gave the remote a few whacks (weak batteries) and switched it on...hoping to relish an exquisite battle. For those who've seen the 2003 Roland Garros semifinal, take my word - this was a must watch, and I was expecting to be able to enjoy it on TV.
Unfortunately, there was no tennis, and I went back to bed...later came to know that after a dismal first set, Serena bounced back and took away the championship!! The news almost spoiled my day, but Serena's a true champion, and I admire her too...
Yesterday was good. I went in Pursuit of Happyness (sorry for that, hehe)...and I must confess, the movie really moved me. And inspired me too...
And then went straight to a music showroom and bought a Guitar!! Currently in search of a tutor who can teach me how to play...
Current music: Vellaipookkal (Kannathil Muthamittal - sung by A R Rahman)
Though I can't seem to imagine waking up before 7 am these days, today - a Sunday(!!), I woke up at 6:40 am (!!) and almost mechanically, walked up to the TV, gave the remote a few whacks (weak batteries) and switched it on...hoping to relish an exquisite battle. For those who've seen the 2003 Roland Garros semifinal, take my word - this was a must watch, and I was expecting to be able to enjoy it on TV.
Unfortunately, there was no tennis, and I went back to bed...later came to know that after a dismal first set, Serena bounced back and took away the championship!! The news almost spoiled my day, but Serena's a true champion, and I admire her too...
Yesterday was good. I went in Pursuit of Happyness (sorry for that, hehe)...and I must confess, the movie really moved me. And inspired me too...
And then went straight to a music showroom and bought a Guitar!! Currently in search of a tutor who can teach me how to play...
Current music: Vellaipookkal (Kannathil Muthamittal - sung by A R Rahman)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Help!!!
Quite some time since i scribbled something. It's been 80 long days since my last blog, to be exact!!
No excuses..am too lazy to even mumble a few alibis.
Things are terrible these days, and I can't bear to imagine the levels I've allowed myself a degradation to! Doing absolutely nothing - Not loving what I do, nor even making an attempt to do what I love. Whatever, I won't be able to forgive myself for the severe indecisiveness and incompetence I've been displaying...probably, all my life.
As Jean-Paul Sartre said, "Anything, anything would be better than this agony of mind, this creeping pain that gnaws and fumbles and caresses one and never hurts quite enough".
Or maybe, as my mom always says, this too will pass. The sands of time may bury this grief of mine, as well...
Current mood: Depressed :-(
No excuses..am too lazy to even mumble a few alibis.
Things are terrible these days, and I can't bear to imagine the levels I've allowed myself a degradation to! Doing absolutely nothing - Not loving what I do, nor even making an attempt to do what I love. Whatever, I won't be able to forgive myself for the severe indecisiveness and incompetence I've been displaying...probably, all my life.
As Jean-Paul Sartre said, "Anything, anything would be better than this agony of mind, this creeping pain that gnaws and fumbles and caresses one and never hurts quite enough".
Or maybe, as my mom always says, this too will pass. The sands of time may bury this grief of mine, as well...
Current mood: Depressed :-(
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
New Year Resolution
New Year resolutions have always been alien to me. Apart from making some silly resolutions like “I won’t eat Horlicks today when mother is asleep”, or “I will write a letter to Ammoomma and Appooppan every month” when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I can’t quite recollect if I’ve ever made a resolution. Come the end of a year, TV channels start buzzing with celebrities’ New Year Resolutions, how they are going to reduce the length of their costumes further, or how they are going to find their new “love”, or God knows what else!!! I wonder who on earth has time to care for such crap…I don’t.
As far as I can call up memories, all the New Years, save a couple of them have found me slumbering away in a corner of the sofa in our drawing room, the inevitable denouement of waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the hands of the clock to click in unison at midnight!! Isn’t it an irony that whenever you try to keep sleep away, it comes back at you so strongly you get the feeling that never before have you felt so sleepy in your whole life, and when you want to get some sweet sleep after a hectic day, it eludes you like a butterfly that is being chased by a child?? Anyways, this year, it wasn’t to be so. In fact, it seems so wonderful that I greeted 2007, listening to “Humma Humma” from Bombay, created by the one-and-only A R Rahman!!! And I noticed that a new year had dawned only at five minutes past midnight. I was also deeply engrossed in a book at the same time. The book was “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel.
I wasn’t interested in the programs that followed on TV. And I was getting drowsy too. So I folded the book and went to bed. Once I put myself to bed, it was a different story. Just a moment before, I was feeling so lethargic. My eyes were drooping. My head nearly hit the floor from the “Ananthashayanam” posture I was hanging on to while watching the TV. My roommate’s call to get up from the floor and go to bed was responded to only after (I think) at least 5 futile attempts. But what happened now? I knew what it was. It was because I was hungry!!! But there was nothing in the house, apart from 20 litres of Bisleri water. After satisfying my hunger with almost half a litre of water (my first meal of 2007), I again tried to get some sleep.
Getting up early is something I love to practise, but never do. I can remember waking up to Yesudas rendering “Vathapi Ganapathi” in the wee hours of the day when I was a high school student, preparing for his exams. It continued till my Pre-Degree exams. Even when I was a little kid, I loved the idea of waking up early. And I used to, when I visited my grandparents every year during my summer vacation. I would wake up when Ammoomma would come to my bed and call me and ask if I wanted to see the cow being milked. Not a word more was necessary. I loved cows. I would already be near the cow-shed, looking with awe at how milk oozed from the cow’s udder, and listening to the tingling sound produced when milk fell into the stainless steel containers. Shortly, Appooppan would untie the cow from the shed and the calf would start frolicking in the backyard, after having its due share of its mother’s milk. I used to run along with it. The mother cow was pleased to see “two calves” running around, so I thought then.
But once I entered the hallowed campus of REC, now known as NIT, the whole idea of the early bird transformed itself into the night watchman; I mean “night-outs”. Forget about sleeping and getting up at 4/4:30/whenever on the eve of the exam. The question was whether you could afford the luxury of sleeping away 5 or 6 precious hours, which could prove crucial to your future (Placements!!!). All these, thanks to snoring on the last bench for a majority of the class hours and playing “Cows n Bulls” the rest of the time, while I was awake. However, things changed again after landing a software job. It didn’t require waking up early. In fact, staying up late became imperative due to the assignments (during my “heavenly training” in Mysore) and work related issues thence. Waking up at 8 or 8:30 became a routine exercise.
I suddenly realized that I could reverse this trend. What better time than New Year to start doing things better!! And if it was necessary to give this thought a name, why not make it my first New Year resolution ever??I checked the time on my mobile. It read 00:45. I had spent almost three quarters of an hour thinking!!! I set the alarm to wake me up at 5:30 and dozed off.
A call from home brought me alive the next morning. After completing the call, I checked the time. It was 8:52………My first resolution!!!
As far as I can call up memories, all the New Years, save a couple of them have found me slumbering away in a corner of the sofa in our drawing room, the inevitable denouement of waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the hands of the clock to click in unison at midnight!! Isn’t it an irony that whenever you try to keep sleep away, it comes back at you so strongly you get the feeling that never before have you felt so sleepy in your whole life, and when you want to get some sweet sleep after a hectic day, it eludes you like a butterfly that is being chased by a child?? Anyways, this year, it wasn’t to be so. In fact, it seems so wonderful that I greeted 2007, listening to “Humma Humma” from Bombay, created by the one-and-only A R Rahman!!! And I noticed that a new year had dawned only at five minutes past midnight. I was also deeply engrossed in a book at the same time. The book was “Life of Pi” by Yann Martel.
I wasn’t interested in the programs that followed on TV. And I was getting drowsy too. So I folded the book and went to bed. Once I put myself to bed, it was a different story. Just a moment before, I was feeling so lethargic. My eyes were drooping. My head nearly hit the floor from the “Ananthashayanam” posture I was hanging on to while watching the TV. My roommate’s call to get up from the floor and go to bed was responded to only after (I think) at least 5 futile attempts. But what happened now? I knew what it was. It was because I was hungry!!! But there was nothing in the house, apart from 20 litres of Bisleri water. After satisfying my hunger with almost half a litre of water (my first meal of 2007), I again tried to get some sleep.
Getting up early is something I love to practise, but never do. I can remember waking up to Yesudas rendering “Vathapi Ganapathi” in the wee hours of the day when I was a high school student, preparing for his exams. It continued till my Pre-Degree exams. Even when I was a little kid, I loved the idea of waking up early. And I used to, when I visited my grandparents every year during my summer vacation. I would wake up when Ammoomma would come to my bed and call me and ask if I wanted to see the cow being milked. Not a word more was necessary. I loved cows. I would already be near the cow-shed, looking with awe at how milk oozed from the cow’s udder, and listening to the tingling sound produced when milk fell into the stainless steel containers. Shortly, Appooppan would untie the cow from the shed and the calf would start frolicking in the backyard, after having its due share of its mother’s milk. I used to run along with it. The mother cow was pleased to see “two calves” running around, so I thought then.
But once I entered the hallowed campus of REC, now known as NIT, the whole idea of the early bird transformed itself into the night watchman; I mean “night-outs”. Forget about sleeping and getting up at 4/4:30/whenever on the eve of the exam. The question was whether you could afford the luxury of sleeping away 5 or 6 precious hours, which could prove crucial to your future (Placements!!!). All these, thanks to snoring on the last bench for a majority of the class hours and playing “Cows n Bulls” the rest of the time, while I was awake. However, things changed again after landing a software job. It didn’t require waking up early. In fact, staying up late became imperative due to the assignments (during my “heavenly training” in Mysore) and work related issues thence. Waking up at 8 or 8:30 became a routine exercise.
I suddenly realized that I could reverse this trend. What better time than New Year to start doing things better!! And if it was necessary to give this thought a name, why not make it my first New Year resolution ever??I checked the time on my mobile. It read 00:45. I had spent almost three quarters of an hour thinking!!! I set the alarm to wake me up at 5:30 and dozed off.
A call from home brought me alive the next morning. After completing the call, I checked the time. It was 8:52………My first resolution!!!
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